words: Sara Moskovitz
photo: Sumner Dilworth
When Andy, the self-proclaimed rap love child of Big L and Weird Al Yankovic isn’t creating freestyles or memorizing the lines to his untitled feature film debut which he began shooting in April, he’s chilling at the corner Karaoke bar, callin’ out names. We all know Andy’s extra-large, brash personality from his own MTV show and appearances on the “Jimmy Kimmel Show,” but now he comes pocket-sized since his newly minted deal with iTunes. With a plate this full, there’s no way ’Nakis could find the time to handle all his own beefs. But go ahead and start snapping the next time you run into him at the club. While he may admit to being a freestyler and not a fighter, his crew throws down. And they’re waiting for you in the alley behind the bar.
“About a year or so ago this guy, he said he was an agent, just ran into me at clubs with all his bougie friends and said I looked like a girl or whatever, totally making fun of me for no reason. I have no idea who he is. So I was like, ‘Whatever, this guy is drunk,’ and walked away from it. So then I see him again, like two months later and he did the same thing at this Karaoke place, I was about to beat the hell out of him at this point. I was like, ‘Whatever, I’ll battle you Karaoke-style.’ So I grabbed the microphone and told the DJ to put on a hip hop beat and said, ‘This is dedicated to Hollywood assholes who talk a bunch of shit.’ They put on a Snoop beat and I just started dissing this guy, talking so much shit to him. I was pointing at him right in the face as I was spitting lines. It was totally detailed, it wasn’t just like, generic yo mama jokes, I really ripped this guy apart. The whole crowd came around like it was 8 Mile and everybody was laughing at him and he looked so totally stupid. And the guy came up to me after I was done and tried to grab the microphone. I don’t know what he planned on doing, he was rapping like an 80 year-old white male who’s never heard the word hip hop. And he tried to talk for like, two seconds and they just cut him off, pulled the plug on him. It was totally gratifying and he felt humiliated.“And then this guy started talking to me about some Hollywood shit and so I started talking to him and I was like, making deals, wheeling and dealing while my friends were outside, starting beef. Outside, my friends dissed him, smacked his hat off of him. Everybody was just like, ‘Let’s go, let’s go!’ And then there was this huge, huge brawl. My friends were beating these guys down. One of the guys elbowed this girl, this huge guy was with her, he was kind of on our team. And then when it got so big, the people inside starting watching and so I walk outside and they were breaking it up. One of the guys got beat down really badly, they walked away kind of hurt. [My friends] were like, ‘We don’t like fighting, we don’t like all this drama, I can’t get in trouble like this,’ but on the other side they were like, ‘but it felt so good to beat these assholes down.’ He definitely deserved it, I’m not a violent person, it was about the fact that this guy was like, haunting me. If I was outside, I would have gotten beat down ’cause I’m small. I’m kind of glad I wasn’t even in it and I told them, If I was outside, I would have had to do something, but I probably would have gotten served. Whatever, I would have verbally torn his ass up.”
